Hello Morbo, how’s the family?

Posted by on May 29, 2016 in Daily, Life | No Comments

I’ll tell them you went down prying the wedding ring off his cold, dead finger. Well, thanks to the Internet. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust for violence? Ah, the ‘Breakfast Club’ soundtrack! I can’t wait til I’m old enough to feel ways about stuff! But existing is basically all […]

Breakfast Club

Posted by on May 26, 2016 in Daily, Life | No Comments
Breakfast Club

And then the battle’s not so bad? Yeah, lots of people did. Oh, I don’t have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain. I had more, but you go ahead. Tell her she […]

Stop! Don’t shoot fire stick

Posted by on May 25, 2016 in Life, Official | No Comments
Stop! Don’t shoot fire stick

It must be wonderful. Maybe I love you so much I love you no matter who you are pretending to be. Now Fry, it’s been a few years since medical school, so remind me. Disemboweling in your species: fatal or non-fatal? Just once I’d like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn’t bound and gagged. […]

Oh right. I forgot

Posted by on May 24, 2016 in Boring, Life | No Comments

All right. Well, take care of yourself, Han. I guess that’s what you’re best at, ain’t it? She must have hidden the plans in the escape pod. Send a detachment down to retrieve them, and see to it personally, Commander. There’ll be no one to stop us this time! I don’t know what you’re talking about. […]

Tell her she looks thin

Posted by on May 21, 2016 in Life, Travel | No Comments
Tell her she looks thin

Enough about your promiscuous mother, Hermes! We have bigger problems. Stop! Don’t shoot fire stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression! File not found. Please, Don-Bot… look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file! I suppose I could part with ‘one’ and still be feared… Dear God, they’ll be killed on our doorstep! […]

Ladies of the evening

Posted by on May 18, 2016 in Life, Travel | No Comments
Ladies of the evening

Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand that! There’s only one reasonable course of action now: kill Flexo! Switzerland is small and neutral! We are more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood! Oh, all right, I am. But if anything happens to me, tell them I died robbing some old man. I saw you with […]